S3x, Love & Energy
Choosing and using a vibrator: lube, hygiene and what actually matters
With Federica — Co-founder, Senses Collective
Most people buy their first vibrator with no information at all, and end up with something loud, heavy, or made of a material they cannot clean properly. In this episode, Federica from Senses Collective walks through what actually matters — body-safe materials, which lubricant to use when, how to care for a toy, and the anatomy most sex education never covered.
Prefer audio? Listen on Spotify.
Key takeaways
- Material matters more than features. Medical-grade silicone should feel smooth and soft, never hard or tacky.
- Fully waterproof means you can clean the whole thing. Designs where only part washes are less hygienic.
- Weight and size are underrated. Something heavy or oversized becomes awkward to position.
- Noise is a real consideration, particularly if you do not live alone.
- Spit is not lubricant. Neither is semen — and semen can alter vaginal pH.
- Water-based lubricant works for everything. Flavoured lubricant is for oral use specifically.
- Wash before and after with a mild natural soap, dry fully, store in a dust bag.
- Sharing a toy with a new partner? Use a condom.
- The clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings and most of it is internal.
- Toys complement partnered sex rather than competing with it.
What to look for in a body-safe toy
The most common mistake is buying on appearance or price without considering material. Cheaper toys are often hard plastic or a coated finish that feels tacky, attracts lint, and holds lubricant in a way that becomes unhygienic.
Federica: Every single product has been chosen by us with a lot of care. It is a mix of design but also functionality — how it makes you feel.
What to check before you buy
- Material — medical-grade silicone, smooth and soft to the touch, not tacky or sticky
- Waterproof — the whole toy, so it can be washed properly
- Charging — USB rechargeable rather than disposable batteries
- Noise — discreet operation, especially in shared housing
- Weight and size — comfortable to hold and position, not unwieldy
- Settings — a range of intensities rather than one fixed speed
- Storage — a dust bag included, and packaging you are comfortable having delivered
MJ: This is soft, nice, smooth — my hand is happy. Imagine down there.
On the comparison toys brought along for contrast: heavier, noticeably louder, and only partially washable.
MJ: You cannot really wash the whole machine. You have to take this part off and wash only that. I do not find that really safe.
Lubricant: which one, and when
Less friction is more pleasure. The sensation will be ten times better if you include lube.
Water-based
The general-purpose option — suitable for oral, vaginal and anal use, and safe with silicone toys. A good water-based lubricant has no taste and no chemical smell, which is not true of many mainstream brands.
It should also stay slippery. Cheaper formulations dry out within minutes and go sticky, meaning constant reapplication.
Flavoured
Designed for oral use, and typically creamier in texture. The test of a good one is that it tastes like the flavour rather than like sweetened plastic.
What is not lubricant
MJ: Spit is not lube. Spit is spit. You can incorporate it as a technique if you like, but it is not the main purpose and that fluid is not enough for lasting satisfaction.
Semen is also not a lubricant, and it can alter vaginal pH.
Aftercare and hygiene
Federica: Wash as soon as possible. Use something not too chemical — a natural soap. And just let it dry.
- Wash before as well as after use
- Mild natural soap, not harsh chemicals
- Dry completely before storing
- Store in a dust bag, not loose in a drawer
- Travelling? Pack it in checked luggage, in its bag
Condoms on toys
Federica: It depends how you are using it. If it is your partner or by yourself, no. If it is more casual, I would suggest protecting it.
Safety and consent apply to toys the same as anything else.
Anatomy: what sex education missed
Most people are taught two things about female anatomy — vaginal and clitoral. The reality is more varied, and the conversation covers several areas commonly described in sexological literature, including the G-spot, A-spot, and the urethral area.
MJ: If you do not know, the clitoris by itself has around 8,000 nerve endings. So when you do clitoral stimulation, do not just go for the tip. Go all the way around, up and down, circles, side to side. Be nice and gentle.
The most important thing is feeling the other person's pleasure. Read the signs. Listen. Communication is key — not every woman likes the same thing.
This is also the practical argument for variety: different people respond to different intensities and different areas, and there is no single correct product.
Toys are not competition
One of the more useful parts of the conversation addresses a common anxiety — that introducing a toy implies a partner is not enough.
Federica: Toys are friends, for female and male. Not enemies or competitors.
MJ: It is something you can implement in your sex life. It is a compliment to enhance the sexual experience.
The design point matters here too. A toy that looks discreet and considered is easier to introduce into a relationship than something that looks like equipment.
About Senses Collective
Senses Collective is an Australian and New Zealand intimate wellness brand focused on body-safe, eco-conscious silicone products and a considered approach to design. Their range is intentionally discreet in both appearance and packaging, and they publish educational content alongside their products.
Federica is a co-founder. This was her second appearance on S3x, Love & Energy.
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This page summarises a conversation from the S3x, Love & Energy podcast and is intended for an adult audience. It is general information about sexual wellbeing and intimate products, not medical advice. Senses Collective appeared as a guest; this page is editorial content and not a paid advertisement. Opinions expressed are those of the speakers. The full episode is available on YouTube and Spotify.